Processing My Pain with Paint

These works were done during 2010 and 2011, when I was going through a major storm in my personal life, a crisis of identity and purpose, a failing marriage, and struggling with depression and anxiety. Using this process of playing with paint without any predetermined plan for the outcome, I processed emotions of grief, loss, despair and slowly worked my way to the bottom of the dark pit so that I could emerge a bit lighter on the other side.

These works are painted in layers, with random strokes, and no image in mind. The painting evolves on its own and becomes what it needs to be. Paying attention to the energy inside me that wants to be expressed (my own creative Muse), the randomness of the images feel like messages from my inner being (my soul). The process of painting without an end product in mind makes the process more important than the result, just like the journey of life is more important than the destination.

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This is the journey of one painting that ended up being called “Hercules” and reminded me of my dad who passed away after a long suffering illness which lasted 5 years. His journey towards death was long, slow and painful, but he bore it like a hero. He was always my hero.

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This painting started out with free flowing blue, and ended up feeling like a journey through space, or into the unknown. The little yellow figure flying into the unknown felt like Alice going down the rabbit hole into her subconscious mind.


Sacred Heart
She had a faraway look in her eyes
dad (Small)
untitled b 2
Getting Wings

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